I really thought we would work. But I don't think we're meant to be anymore. Not when you don't like being with me alone when that's so important. When two people are in love, they just can't seem to get enough of each other. I've cried for you to want me that way, I've craved for you to hold me and say that I'm the only thing you need in your life. But I bore you, so how can I be? I cling on to you and you don't get your space. I have stupid friends with their stupid issues and I've got too many issues of my own. I cannot be in love if I let you go. I cannot be in love if I don't get to hold you. I cannot love you if you mock me at every stage and make me realize that I've been a mistake in your life.
You know, I've made up my mind about somethings today. I will never love you the way I did. I will never need you or depend on you the way I used to. You are not my life, only a part that I wish hadn't happened. I will love you only till a point where I can stop. Everything I say to you will be thought out and simple. My ideas, my problems, my life, my feelings, they're all mine now. I take away what I gave away to you.
One year? You're not worth even a moment I spend on you. I realize that only today. The most important day of my relationship with you. I was looking forward to it and I wanted it to be so special. You weren't here. I didn't mind that at all. Instead, you abused me, said that I am someone you are "repulsed by". No one has ever said that to me. And I didn't expect it from someone who I had given my entire life to. You know, I actually did give you my soul.
You know how it feels when your soul cries? When you want to tear it out and wish you couldn't feel anything anymore? Did you ever feel like holding yourself so hard that you could squeeze out every ounce of feeling left inside you? Did you ever feel like becoming numb was better than anything else in the world?
Every word you said made me feel that way. Just because I cry easily doesn't mean I don't feel anything. Every word you said made me numb. Every word took out one part of my soul from me. You ripped me apart. All the times you've hit me and abused me are nothing compared to what you did to me today. You broke me. I am broken. I thought nothing could do that to me. But you did. I can't mend it anymore. I could but not today. Not ever. It's gone. You killed it. Every bit of it. Took it and murdered it.
Someday you'll see what you did. It doesn't matter so much to you right now. I understand. You did what you thought was right and you live with no regrets. You don't know what you've done to me. You'll never know unless you don't have this. You've broken me into pieces, you know. You've destroyed me as a person and I'll never be the same again. You took everything away from me. I gave you my entire life and I did things I had never done for anyone. I built myself according to you and did everything I could to make this work. It wasn't enough, I guess.
Someday when you feel low and you don't have anyone, think about me please. Think about what you did. I would hold you close and never let anything get close to you. I wanted to be there and love you like no one had loved you before. I wanted to hold you in my arms and protect you from everything. I wanted to be there.
I'll go, like you want me to. I won't suffocate you anymore. I'll be like you want me to. I'll let go.
You will be free.
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