I've wanted this all along. I've wished to have you in my life and now I have you. I haven't been happy but we've managed. Yesterday you told me that you'll make everything up to me and I hope you do. You also told me that you want us to move to Delhi and work together. Truthfully, the idea scares me. Not that I think you'll leave me midway but the fact that I'll actually be staying with you makes me feel scared. I don't know why it scares me. It makes me wonder if I'm really ready for this or not.

I know I should have thought this through sooner, but in the past two years, all I've done is chase you. I've being convincing you to make this work and that it's really worth it. But I've been chasing you for so long that I've forgotten to believe in those reasons myself. I don't remember why I chose to spend my life with you. I don't remember why I would leave my parents to be with you. I don't remember why I forgave you for hitting me so often. I don't remember how to be normal around you.

If I do leave Calcutta and move to Delhi, I'll have to move in with you. To have you around constantly, knowing that I cannot run home if you hit me, suffocates me.

I don't think I can do this.

I know all the reasons you hate me. I wanted to know the reasons you love me. Do you remember?