I won't be happy. I know. I've made far too many mistakes which I think about constantly. Being with one guy after has taught me something too. But I didn't think I would still be weak and vulnerable. I thought I was strong.
You know what's pathetic? The way I beg for you to come back. The way I cry all night waking up every half an hour to see if you've called. You'll never understand. According to you, it's revenge. But try understanding me. I hadn't kept those conversations on purpose, I didn't know that they existed. As soon as I found them, I let you know. Instead of telling me that you think I had them on purpose, you could have thought of all the times I've tried to be understanding. The photographs I found, the lies you've told me. I let that past because I thought if something similar happened to me, you'd do the same. You're not the person I thought you were. You are someone I'll never understand. You are someone who feeds on my sorrows.
In spite of everything, I made you the center of my world. I did everything I could for you. But you've hit me and abused me. You really can't imagine what you've put me through since last night. Broke me into pieces I can't get anymore. You've changed me. Made me numb. Now when I kiss you, it'll never be the same. I won't ever let you know. But I'm in love with you and being with you is the only way I can move on. I'll be with you for as long as it takes. I'll move on someday. I want to.
You know why? No one pushes the people they love to do such things. They don't allow people to beg and plead with them just to prove a point. You've broken me so badly. I can't mend myself anymore. I can't. Just slowly, let me go. I'll fade away. You won't know.
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