You tell me that I mean nothing compared to your friends, when you're angry. I understand that they don't fight with you like I do and I also understand that they've been in your life longer. But it just makes me feel helpless. Makes me feel like no matter what I do, I'll never be them.
I'll never be someone who doesn't fight with you. I'll never be that person who's known you for the longest time. I'll never be the person who you miss being with. I'll never be them.
Every day I spend with you makes me feel how much I lack. You always talk about things you could do or the places you could be. I sit there and wonder when you'll remember that I'm with you now. You plan holidays months in advance and talk about them constantly until you finally go and come back. And then the next one starts. For you, your life is those few days you spend with everyone else. I'm just the transition period; the boring life that you lead every day. I wanted to be more.
I don't know if you'll ever understand. I won't tell you. It hurts me to think about it and telling you would mean accepting that this is true. It's just too much to take. I hope you realize someday.
Please don't take me for granted. I'm here today but we go on our separate ways soon. I don't want to be your transitional phase anymore. I want to be important to you. I want to know that I make you happy. I want to know that your life isn't just dull and depressing while you're in this city. Because even I'm a part of this city right now.
Don't tell people how bored you are. Tell them your life is good. Tell them that you're happy.
Don't put me down.
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