I stood there wondering if you'd come; you came. You held me and I thought I'd finally gotten everything. As the music played, I didn't care about anything else. I could feel the touch of your hand around my waist, your body against mine. But you slowly distanced yourself and while my heart was screaming to be with you, you left. Leaving me all alone, standing in the middle of a thousand other couples, you made me feel like such a fool. Then I see some girl trying to get close to you, I know you pushed her away, but it broke my heart. You abused every feeling that I had felt while you were so close to me. You made me feel like everything was a farce, a LIE! I hated you for what you did to me that night.
I still wanted to hold your hand, kiss you and be in your arms. I waited and even asked you if you wanted the same. You told me, "I don't want it to be complicated". I couldn't bear it any longer. I wanted to break away, run and never come back. You caught me and put me back but I still wanted to go away.
That night I had decided that I wouldn't go back home. All my life, I've cared about my safety, my respect; I was willing to give it all up. I know it was foolish, reckless and irresponsible but none of it mattered. All I could think of was how I couldn't have you in my life after everything I've done, after everything we've shared; I felt cheated.
I stood in the corner of an alley, thinking of everything I had felt for you in the past few months. It was time for me to choose a path because you wouldn't choose ours. I felt used, let down. I know I had made a mistake too but it was all because I was desperate to get over you. I had thought that you used me and I had started to lose respect for myself, my body. I did all of that to move on, to push you away. But the more I tried to push you away, the closer you came. I didn't know what to do.
I didn't care about anything that night. You looked for me, but I made sure that you wouldn't find me. All these months you showed me that you didn't care and when you were looking for me, standing in the middle of the road, I still felt safe and cared for.
I don't know how to explain to you anymore. You keep pushing me away and I don't know how to leave. I don't know how to move on. Please help me take a decision; don't do this to me anymore. I really do love you a lot and I don't know how to get rid of this feeling. Don't let me go, ask me to stay, hold on to me please!
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